1992 WITHIN-BEYOND, 1993 A Magic Synthesis of Recognition, 1994 Oh Mirror!, 1995 The Creative Cosmic Clowns, 1995 No Better Gift, 1996 NOTHING WITHOUT YOUR GRACE, 1996 BEYOND ALLUSION, DELUSION, ILLUSION, 1997 Life Like a TrEe, 1998 GOD'S CLOWN, 1999 Now, I know better, 2000 JESUS, THE CHRIST, 2002 SILENCE, 2003 TODAY, 2004 LETTING GO, 2005 a flame, 2006 THE RHYTHM OF THE BREATH, 2007 Meditative surrender, 2008 spiritual direction, 2009 FRAGRANCE, 2010 RAPTURE OR RUPTURE






[A Blessing]


May our silence

be comfortable


in that silence

may we experience


the height of intimacy

the depth of communication


and the powerful presence

of the Great Spirit of Love

that gives and forgives








[Reflections on August 13, 2004

and August 31, 2006]


Here and now,

by letting go, let us glow


May love grow and joy overflow

both within and beyond religions


Awakening : Islam

No gods, but God


Balancing : Christ

Not my will, but yours


Centering : Buddha

Not how, but now


Delight : Yoga

Fullness,  Emptiness








An acquired belief

A historical character

A divine image I've grown to love

A core dimension of my personality.







[These philosophical musings were  published in the first issue of the International Journal of Religion, Psychology and Spirituality (1992)]

Here and now within-beyond, LIFE unfolds itself as REVELATION within the authenticity of integral experience beyond the legitimacy of creative expression!


Here and now within-beyond WOMB-AND-TOMB, LIFE enfolds the explosion of every moment as RESURRECTION within human experience beyond Christian dogmatization!


Here and now within-beyond BODY-AND-SOUL, LIFE unfolds itself in history as ENLIGHTENED INCARNATION within enfleshment beyond enslavement of individuation!


Here and now within-beyond MONISM-AND-DUALISM, LIFE enfolds itself into eternity as COMMUNION within mystical union beyond philosophical speculation!


Here and now within-beyond EMPTINESS-AND-FULLNESS

LIFE unfolds itself as LILA or HARMONY within the balance of energies beyond the dance of the universe!


Here and now within-beyond TRUTH-BEAUTY-AND-WONDER LIFE enfolds itself as LALI or RADIANT GLOW within visions of love beyond cosmic manifestations!


Here and now within-beyond GROW-AND-GLOW LIFE unfolds itself as SANTI or PEACEFUL FLOW blissfully vibrating for-and-with ALL within-beyond this planet!

The Playful-Painful Cosmic Clown








[These interfaith insights were published as part of the doctoral dissertation in Philosophy and Religion presented at the California Institute of Integral Studies in San Francisco, CA.]


breathing in the fullness of eternity

through the four gates

while traveling through all the intermediary spaces.



AWAKENING to mystical consciousness

or communion with the CREATOR and CREATION!



 experiencing the victorious micro-stillness

of the dance at the center of my life

where intimacy, love and freedom

are at play as enfleshed incarnation.


LILA2 as immersion in HISTORY

BALANCING polarity as complementarity

taking on the fullness of the flesh: INCARNATION!



 breathing out revelation and communion

as re-creative resurrection throughout the cosmos.



CENTERING life energies as mandala

the affirming fullness of life: RESURRECTION!



 expanding into the glorious macro-consciousness

of the eternal, playful dance of the universe.


LALI5 as extension into ETERNITY

BECOMING one with being and non-being

living the DELIGHT of the parousia: HERE-AND-NOW!


The Playful-Painful Cosmic Clown

 in Mandalas (1994). pp 71-72.





Oh Mirror!


[This poem was written on July 4 and was published in The Bohemian, College of Notre Dame's  Literary Magazine. (Notre Dame de Namur University) Belmont, CA. Spring 1996. Page 22.]

Oh, my playful-painful celestial mirror

Home to two awesome rainbows intersecting.

With proud golden pink lotuses in full blossom

With tiny silvery crosses scattered in between

Marshy, yet, a crystal-clear pond of water.


Oh, you tricky, shadowy-bright, watery mirror

Transparent center, incessant witness

To a radiant, colorful display of fireworks

Shooting delightfully beyond the rainbows' crossing:

The emergence of a new galaxy of fun and freedom.


Fire! Oh, Fire!

What a dangerous galaxy of fun and freedom.

With disciplined approach and ordered living

Burning away memories transient and guilty shame

Restoring losses: innocence, peace, and tranquility;

To awaken, balance, and center delight here-and-now.


Oh, here is the place and now is the time

For being born anew on this planet. A new creation

Transforming the tiny, tranquil, transient, and transparent

With courageous harmony and visionary action

Beyond reflective paradigms and reflexive paradoxes:






The Creative Cosmic Clowns


[This poem  was published in At Water's Edge [Joy Esterby (ed). Owing Mills: Watermark Press, MD. 1995. Page 30. It "was recognized by the judges as being among the best 3% of all entries judged" by The National Library of Poetry, 1995.]


A comedy unfolding tragedy:

A tragedy unfolding comedy

    Awakening more experiences

and newer options to Harmony.

    A reflexive-reflective mirror.



We are born to die.

In dying we are born to endless life.

    Balancing Earth with Heaven-and-Hell;

Yin-Yang. A narrow opening to Infinity.



Within-beyond absence and presence.

    Centering on fullness and Nothingness

as Possibility. A conscious paradigm shift.



That we know is known.

What we know is unknown.

    Beyond the mysterious paradox,

light at the end of the tunnel. Delight.



Laughter and action with compassion,

    Niente ti turbi. Hakuna matata.

Take it easy.

Playfully-Painfully: The clown.



Justice, Peace. a transparent consciousness

    Unfolding-enfolding sustainable growth

and happy miracles

    Creatively Cosmic and fully alive

here-and-now. YOU and ME!







 IN harmony  with

The Rhythm of the Breath





[A vision, mission and plan of action]


Simply, breathing in abundance

Freely, growing with guidance

Fully, breathing out fragrance

Emptied, glowing with radiance


Graceful : Grateful : Peaceful : Playful


Awaken here and now

Balance by letting go

Center with love, let us glow

Delight, may joy overflow


No Words : No Thoughts : No Self

Embrace All


Infinity : Intimacy : Integrity



Om : Viva : Xānti : Moima



No Better Gift


[This poem was written on January 12 a month after the death of Valdemira Reis Fernandes e Coelho [born in Chinchinim, Goa on 12/21/07; born to heaven in Aquem, Goa on 12/12/94] and was published in Christus Rex (a publication of  Christ Church, an Anglican Catholic Parish, in San Mateo, CA), March 1995.

M„e, my Mother on Earth, is My Mother.

There's no better definition. No better gift!

M„e, like most mothers on Earth, tenderly nurtured my life, Prayerfully planting the seed of a Christ-like Priestly vocation, To be lived generously from her womb, away from the home, Unceasingly praying with faith and hope, and praying with love. No better gift!


M„e, like every mother on Earth, oft rejoiced in life, Every time she gave birth to a new born son or daughter, An definitely on December 21, 1977,  her seventieth birthday, When her prayers were answered and I was ordained a priest. No better gift!


M„e, like every mother on Earth, oft suffered in life, Painfully in 1931 on leaving her maiden home in Chinchinim, Inconsolably in 1937 on losing her first daughter, Minduche, with courageous faith and hopeful resignation on every occasion. No better gift!


M„e, like every mother, had many prayerful dreams and visions: A delightful dream for each of her eight children: health and happiness, a vision of peace and well being for people all over the world, A constant prayer for a fearless and holy death -December 12, 1994.

M„e, my Mother in Heaven, is Our Mother.

There's no limitation. No better gift!





[This Lenten reflection for the Parishioners of Christ Church, an Anglican Catholic Parish, in San Mateo, CA was published in Christus Rex, March 1996.]

Domine, non sum dignus! Lord I am not worthy to receive gifts: Life on Earth as a human destined to face many transitional shifts, Citizen of a great nation, descendant of a family with and without rifts; Endowed with many qualities and rights to offer or deny upward lifts. Nihil sine tuo numine! Nothing without Your Grace - A mortal human!


Domine, non sum dignus! Lord I am not worthy to learn the mysteries: God, Creation, Incarnation, Resurrection, and Eternal Salvation; Golden Sun, Silvery Moon, glowing planets, and quasars nascent; Heavenly garden, cleansing gate, burning hell, and limbo forever. Nihil sine tuo numine! Nothing without Your Grace - A militant conformist.


Domine, non sum dignus! Lord I am not worthy to question the language, Away from history looking down upon the mountain, Black and White: Scriptures, Rituals, Canons, Dogma, Magisterium, and Authority; Infinite shades of grey in meditation and contemplation unending. Nihil sine tuo numine! Nothing without Your Grace - A cloud of confusion.


Domine non sum dignus! Lord I am not worthy to feel the personal wheel: Black, purple, red, yellow, green, blue, violet, and white centers in my body: Psycho-somatic and spiritual energies, inner drives, conflicting passions, Memories still, emotions strong, flights and fights, wishes and dreams unending. Nihil sine tuo numine! Nothing without Your Grace - A cloud of colors.


Domine non sum dignus! Lord I am not worthy to experience nothingness. Beyond black, purple, red, yellow, green, blue, violet, and white, Golden suns, silvery moons, glowing planets, nascent quasars, Burning stars, and shining galaxies absence of light - darkness unending. Nihil sine tuo numine! Nothing without Your Grace - A cloud of unknowing.


Domine non sum dignus! Lord I am not worthy to see You, Light become flesh Piercing through the cloud of unknowing; integrating loss, hurt, and pain; The silver-lining behind the clouds of confusion, color, and darkness unending; Calling for outer conversion, inner transformation, and mystic communion. Nihil sine tuo numine! Nothing without Your Grace - A spark of recognition.


Domine non sum dignus! Lord I am not worthy to enjoy You, Three-in-One, Father, Spirit, and Son: transcending limitations, language, and history Beyond loss, hurt, and pain committed to service of giving and forgiving, Christís ministry of redemptive healing, restoring  mysterious bliss unending. Nihil sine tuo numine! Nothing without Your Grace - Another christ today.


Now, I know better


[This reflection is based on The Joy of Creative Living: Radical Revolution of the Mind -An Approach Proposed by Jiddu Krishnamurthy (authored by Fr. Scaria Thuruthiyil, SDB. Roma: Libreria Ateneo Salesiano.1999) and was written on September 9.]

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Now, I know better. This is the day when I choose to blend the finite with the infinite. In spite of moments of sadness, distress and frustration, I am happy. I want to experience the explosion: this is infinite, that is infinite. In spite of all the difficulties, obstacles and pain, I am grateful I can count many blessings with my beloved here and now.

Om! Viva! Santi! Moima! Om!


Today is the only day that truly matters. Now, I know better. For yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never be mine. Christ behind and before me like Beauty behind and before me Are illusions and delusions, products of my memory and imagination. Incarnation and resurrection like re-incarnation or annihilation Are products and processes of faith and enculturation.

Om! Viva! Santi! Moima! Om!


Today is the implosion of history and mystery. Now, I know better. Billions of years of existence in the universe and in eternity Present in this moment of existence with choiceless awareness Neither wanting nor not wanting, effortless expression in harmony. Listening, seeing, touching, smelling and tasting every sensation As manifestations of life and fullness: satyam, sivam, sundaram.

Om! Viva! Santi!  Moima! Om!


Today is living simply and freely with my beloved. Now, I know better. The heart of the Priesthood, or service, is rooted in the heart. Beyond the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Triadic Heart of Shiva, Metaphors for manifestations of consciousness in religions, Is the joy of creative living with humanity in the universe While experiencing my beloved in and with my heart.

Om! Viva! Santi! Moima! Om!


Today is a grace-filled gift from my Beloved. Now, I know better. A brand new gift to be cherished with the heart, delightfully Awakening, balancing and centering every motion and emotion With choiceless awareness and effortless action: a new explosion, Grateful, growing as a tiny, tranquil, transient and transparent drop Graceful, glowing with my beloved in the Ocean Beloved.

Om! Viva! Santi! Moima! Om!






This fragrance is fullness.

That fragrance is emptiness.

Even though this fullness

Came out of that emptiness,

All that remains is fragrance itself.


"Om, Pūrnamadah Pūrnamidam,

Pūrnāt Pūrnamudachyate.

Pūrnasya Pūrnamāddāya


The Seer in Brihadāranyaka Upanishad 5.1.1






Today is the first day of the rest of my life,

Today is the implosion of history and mystery,

Today is the only explosion that truly matters

"This is Infinite, That is Infinite."


Today is living simply and freely with my beloved,

Today is a grace-filled gift gratefully growing:

Awakening, Balancing, Centering Delight

"This is Intimate, That is Intimate."

Today, I am peaceful

Flowing as a wave with my beloved

A shiny, soulful, silent sacrament.

"This is Abundant, That is Abundant."


Today, I am glorious

Glowing as a drop in the Ocean Beloved

 Tiny, tranquil, transient, transparent.

"This is Radiant, That is Radiant."



a flame



[Seventeen syllabic verses]



by a bright light in the night,

life beyond fright, fight or flight.



a spark in the dark

with the shark and the lark in the ark.



a flame with no name or aim

of fame or shame at lifeís game.



in emptiness where glory glows

radiance grows and peace flows.


Infinity, Intimacy and Integrity In-harmony.






[This poem was written for the White Robed Monks of St. Benedict www.whiterobedmonks.org]

Your story, my story, their story

Is just another unfolding in history.

Without wholeness as aim, Life is oft lame.

Tragedy always same, painful, not tame.


Christ story, Buddha story,

Unparalleled mystery in history

Beyond ritual, and doctrine hoary

To overcome the void or gain glory.


Religion beyond allusion, delusion, illusion

With truth and imagination in creation

Beyond paradigms: resurrection, annihilation

Incarnation, or re-incarnation; a new vision.


Be child-like without desire and judgment?

Filled with life, love and fun innocent?

Spirituality of freedom and commitment?

Or, become self-centered and dependent?


In a world irresponsible and confusing

Without order and no new meaning

Old wineskins bursting without linking

Ritual to life and happiness unending.


Christ story, Buddha story, our story

Is truly another awesome mystery.

With happiness as aim, Love is its name.

Eternity always same, Now is the game.





Life Like a TrEe



[This poem was written on Good Friday]

Life, like a tree reaches deeper and higher, Spreading its roots and branches, Searching for nutrients and space, Enriching the soil and the environment.


The roots of life in past and history embedded, With genetic imprint and predispositions, With social controls from home and nation, Going back through undiscovered generations.


The branches of life to the future open With each new leaf, a leap into consciousness, Embracing light and darkness, heat and cold, Clemencies of weather and inclemencies, too.

As the roots inward and downward journey Through terrain and domain hard and soft, wet and dry, Encountering roots and creatures friendly and unfriendly, Pave new paths with strength, or get stunted in the process.


As the branches shoot out for light with freedom,  Dancing with the winds against the clear blue skies, With music enchanting provided by the birds and flies, Offer fragrance fresh and a shelter for comfort and rest.


Stunted roots and branches with frustrations blocked, Get past the bugs with vitality and strength renewed, Or stifle an already weary, weak, and struggling tree, With fruitless stress, sickness, and eventual death.


Branches and roots with harmonious connections, In one season, flowery like a beautiful maiden, With passage of time, with delicious fruits laden, Share with one and all natureís tasteful bounty.


Then comes winter, windy, wet, cold and dark, Branches shed leaves and appear outwardly stark, Roots integrate or penetrate to newer depths, A journey to the center, silent and slow, right or left.


Life, like a tree goes on and on through many a season, Branches and roots their connected functions performing. Each one of us, like a tree keeps growing and glowing, With rooted connections, spreading out to greater glory.







[This poem is a reflection on Joseph of Nazareth and was written on March 19]

Simple yet complex, this is a funny story

Of a man who was born and died long ago,

A man known to some, unknown to many.


Significant or unimportant as the case may be

This manís life has bearings on the present

Christian Scriptures, Theology, and History.


In Scriptures, belonging to Davidís royal race,

A believer in dreams and divine inspiration

He is an active man with a radiant face.


In Theology, guardian of the Virgin and Child,

A believer in conflicts and silent resolution

He is conveniently old, gentle, and mild.


In Christian History, patron of the Church,

A believer in endless possibilities and miracles

He is a powerful provider in every search.


In the life of a Christian, model of the living,

A believer in family values and fullness of life

He is a pillar of strength and hope undying.


In reality, who is this man?

A man like most men, married with a family,

A carpenter with a singular call in Godís plan.


Committed with responsibilities always up and down

To awaken, balance, center, and delight in the best

Much like his Son Divine, Godís mysterious clown.


With justice, compassion, glorious laughter

Experiencing wholeness with humor and wonder

Maryís precious and happy clown here and hereafter.




Meditative surrender



Meditative surrender leads to emptiness,

a state of deep humility

with 'no knowledge' of oneness.

It is the fullness of life:

living and sharing peacefulness.




spiritual direction



With the mastery of the art of meditative living

The soul learns to travel with the breath

 Rhythmically with harmonious impermanence:

Breathing in, growing, breathing out, glowing.


Awakening the soul to the spiritual;

Balancing experience with expression;

Centering attention with intention;

Delighting in enlightened compassion.


Simply touching the deepest level of being,

Freely connecting with the web of the universe,

Resourcefully flowing with the Source,

Beyond the rhythm of fullness or emptiness.








Awakening, balancing and centering attention

Presence with energy and information

Awesome Silence - rapture or rupture!



Awakening, balancing and centering intention

Choice with attention to intention

Blissful Laughter - reverence and playfulness!





with  Impermanence  :

The Rhythm of the Universe




Graceful Grateful Peaceful Playful laughter



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